This past Monday I went to the Ottawa Hospital Weight Management Clinic for the Information Session about the Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass surgery. This is basically step three of a dozen or so steps toward surgery. From that day, I am somewhere between 9 months to a year and a half from surgery.
First and foremost, I went into this information session very well armed already. A friend, Jess, has already gone through this process. She has been an invaluable resource and a solid rock of support when I turn to her. That said, despite not gleaning too much new information, I was able to build up a little more confidence in my decision and start facing some realities.
When I am out of town, I cannot self-regulate worth a damn
I love to justify my habits. I was out in Kingston on the weekend on the trip there I had 1 bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper (not the worst thing for me, but I do need to cut out carbonated drinks before surgery) and two pepperoni sticks. For my dinner, I had a 12 inch personalized veggie pizza with goat cheese, mozzarella cheese, tomatoes, spinach, onions and mushrooms on it from Score Pizza on Princess Street. It was delicious! And affordable too. That said, at Denny’s around 11:30pm, I had a Peanut butter chocolate milkshake. Yeah. So, that’s basically a big fat no no. But I justified it to myself for walking around a lot that night and having a healthy dinner. Sigh.
Moral of the story here is that I need to come to terms with how to eat when I am out. I mean, let’s be honest, being home is my comfort zone. Everything is well under control. When I go someplace to eat, however, food is their business and they want you to salivate over their offerings. Most of which are not good for you on a regular basis. Yeah, I know, one milkshake in a blue moon is fine (in fact, it’s the first milkshake I bought in years and the second milkshake I have had since Christmas … last time we made our own at home).
I am an emotional eater
If you know me, you know I am a sharer. I tell you what’s going on in my life and how things are. It’s part of how I cope with what bothers me. The other? Well, eating. For example … The lead up to this past weekend I was very sad. I won’t explain why because I feel like I will be grandstanding a bit, but know that leading up to the weekend I was ultimately bummed. This triggered some stupid food decisions because I often turn to stupid food choices when I am upset. I want to feel better and feel comforted and crappy food does it for me. And I know it. Sadly, it is also very hard to stop. I need to substitute the desire to eat ad replace it with something else. I’m going to try and write in a journal once again to avoid that sort of crap decision making.
Technology will be my ally
Sitting in this room on Monday with–and I say this without trying to be callous–more fat folks in one room than I have ever imagined, the nurse explained that we should use MyFitnessPal or another app like it. I downloaded it and started logging what I ate this week and how much walking I did. Since I already use technology to do damn near everything in my life, I think this will help me get further down my success path and help me to stay away from the crap. I hope.
Anyway, that’s it for now. A quick update. We’ll see how this goes.